72: Loving Oneself
Introduction
This verse examines the relationship between reverence and engagement.
It suggests that awe, when inflated, can create distance, stagnation, and ultimately disengagement. Irreverence, by contrast, deepens our relationship to ourselves and the world in a way that enacts true reverence.
The lines that follow offer structural checks for balance between being and becoming, and point to the quiet integrity that allows one to Weave the Way.
Translation
People’s irreverence
leads to the greatest reverence.
They do not grow too familiar with
their abiding.
They do not tire of
their arising.
Not tiring of things
is how to stay engaged.
This is why the Wise
Know themselves and
do not present themselves.
Love themselves
And do not overvalue themselves.
Therefore,
They discard withdrawal
And
Hold This.
Commentary
People’s irreverence
leads to the greatest reverence.
A subtle thing happens when we view something with awe. We set it apart from ourselves. We see that it is special and beyond us. We long to draw near but keep ourselves at a distance. A strange relationship emerges: distant longing and subtle subordination.
The paradoxical result is that awe-filled desire prevents us from giving our most incredible gift: our whole being.
They do not grow too familiar with
their abiding.
They do not tire of
their arising.
A certain amount of irreverence enables a lightness in our experience, allowing us to maintain an open, childlike, and perhaps flippant attitude toward our current station, as well as our origins. This lightness keeps things fresh, as though in an intimate dialogue with our dearest friend. We jest, we poke, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We disagree, emote, and clash. We reconcile and do it all again. This is the whole dynamic of being in a relationship.
What is more awe-inspiring than an intimacy that requires no performance?
Many other translators and commentators restrict the meaning of abiding (居，jū) and arising (生, shēng) to hierarchical social contexts, meaning one’s social class by profession and status by birth. Such aspects are included here; however, throughout Weaving the Way, we have been invited to integrate abiding as being (Dao) and arising as becoming (De) into a way of life. In other verses, these terms have indicated abiding and arising, as we do here.
At this level, the text invites us not to exalt being over becoming, and not to become so lost in becoming that we forget our being. Both benefit from a certain degree of irreverence!
Not tiring of things
is how to stay engaged.
I find this line simultaneously obvious and abstract. The central term in the original Chinese here, 厭 (yàn), is illuminating. 厭 is to be sated. By extension, it means to have had so much of something for so long that you don’t want it anymore. It’s a single character that captures how indulging too much creates aversion.
Overall, this line brings us face-to-face with the ramifications of exalting something so much that we fill our whole life with it. Namely, we eventually become tired of it and turn away from it. Freeing even the most sacred aspects of our lives from the confines of our awe enables a much healthier and dynamic engagement. Only when we are no longer trapped in the confines of reverence can respect, admiration, and love fully manifest
This is why the Wise
Know themselves and
do not present themselves.
Love themselves
And do not overvalue themselves.
These lines stage a means of self-reflection that helps us discern whether we are in balance and living in Integrity (德, dé).
We no longer need to perform in defense of our sense of identity, or to meet others’ expectations, once we know ourselves as deeply as Weaving the Way demands. Contact with our own humanity also prevents the distortions of “golden projections.”
Profound self-love allows us to be fully human, empowering us to meet life as it is. With this radical openness, we neither erase the uniqueness of our individuality nor demand that others conform to our expectations.
Such relational integrity is essential to Weaving the Way. Whether we are resting in the Dao as pure being, becoming through our relationships, or taking out this trash, this Integrity is the Way.
Therefore,
They discard withdrawal
And
Hold This.
Discarding withdrawal means facing world-weariness directly. To feel tired of the world, especially its material entanglements, is a sign of imbalance. When we privilege either being or becoming over the other, the whole Weave of our Way tangles.
Instead, we are reminded to be like an empty vessel and “Hold This” (as named in Verse 62). “This” is not a concept. It is the ever-unfolding dynamic interplay of life. It is the Dao in motion, the harmony of receptive yin and generative yang.
Nothing more. Nothing less. Just This.